Brandy Shapiro-Babin on Rewiring the Patterns That Run Your Business

Jordan Lally:0:01
Welcome back to the [High Ticket AI Systems] Podcast. Everyone, please welcome the winner of the Mrs. Brandy Babin. Brandy, how you doing today?

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:0:08
I'm not usually called misses. That's like kind of exciting. I'm great. How are you?

Jordan Lally:0:11
Amazing, amazing. You and I were talking off camera here momentarily, and we I am personally really excited to dive into what's in store today. I typically do not talk about this topic or these topics on the podcast. It's really business oriented, but I think what we will discuss today is very, very foundational and probably the number one pillar of success in any any area of your life.

Whether it's health, wealth, or relationships, what we're gonna discuss today is is what I believe to be the most important thing. So, Brandy, please, if you don't mind, what were we talking about when we first joined this conversation? Just a high-level overview, we'll we'll go.

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:0:59
Goodness. So I we were talking about neuroscience. So the fact that you could have the best high-ticket system to sell. But if your nervous system isn't regulated, if you don't know, if you don't know the name of the guy that lives inside of you or the gal that lives inside of you called your subconscious, I usually refer to mine as an asshole. these are the things that you need to.

Begin, you need to master yourself before you can go and master the universe from a business perspective. I think the ride is a lot easier and it's much more fulfilling because it's not just about making sales and making money in life, but it's really about having the best balanced, fortuitous and fulfilling life.

Jordan Lally:1:37
Absolutely.

Jordan Lally:1:56
On the topic of balance, I feel like I vi I I truly do live an imbalanced life. My family hates it for or hates not hates me for it. They hate the fact that I live an imbalanced life. My siblings tell me all the time that you're a psychopath. But I think life of an entrepreneur. Right. I I definitely feel emotions. That's that is a fact. but they they kind of feel like sorry for me and bad for me that.

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:2:12
Better than a sociopath, I'm just saying.

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:2:18
Yeah.

Jordan Lally:2:24
All I do is work and work out. But at the same time though, Brandy, I love that shit. So on the topic of be of living a balanced life, I feel like that's subjective. And I've heard you know mentors say that when it comes to living a balanced life, work really hard in like the first half of your life so you can enjoy like the rest of your life, essentially, without worrying about The the the basic necessities of life, like food, clothing, shelter, like vacations, et cetera, et cetera. getting back to self-mastery though, there was a mentor of mine before he went off the rails. His name was Wes Watson. He was like this fitness coach, fitness guru. But he basically said, How the fuck can you be the CEO of a company if you can't even be the CEO of yourself? How can you run a company if you can't tell yourself to wake up at a specific time?

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:3:13
Mm-hmm.

Jordan Lally:3:18
Go to the gym at a specific time, eat the proper food, a and just do what you know you need to get done to be successful. Like you're living an ash backwards life. And I I I find that to be very true for me in my own life. Thoughts on that?

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:3:32
Yes, so several. I think so. First of all, I'm a big believer. If you're out there consuming content, right? Even this, don't listen to what you and I have to say as the full gospel. You take the nuggets that resonate with you and then figure out is it meant to be incorporated into my life? Because you made a really good point. What's balanced for you may not be balanced for me.

And everyone's gonna have an opinion about your life, like your family, like you're a psychopath, all you do is work and and you know, go to the gym.

We think we know how we would react being placed in a situation, but we really don't know until we're in that situation. Not knowing you very well, but knowing you enough, you're in a season in your life where you've got your your balance is like a seesaw, right? You've got you get your energy from your workout. You come and you take that THC high, which is what they're really beginning to realize, not the dopamine high, which is very interesting that our body's producing THC and releasing it, I believe, when we work out.

And then you're using that to fuel your workday. And if that's the season you're in and that's what makes you happy, then fuck anyone that tells you, you're not living a balanced life. You're living a balanced life for you. And I can see with the brightness in your eyes and the beautiful smile on your face.

Jordan Lally:4:50
Yes.

Jordan Lally:4:55
Thank you so much, Brandy. That actually means a lot to me because I don't have anyone in my corner saying that, you know? So like genuinely, thank you so much.

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:5:02
that's like a whole other podcast topic.

Jordan Lally:5:05
Yeah, not to go to North Fields too much here. But getting back to neuro neuroscience, if you don't mind, when did you first discover this? Because for me, my first sales job, I was essentially a door-to-door salesman slanging solar out there in California. And I don't know how, but on my YouTube feed, I ran into like reprogramming your subconscious mind or your mind to earn more money. And it was this video by Bob Proctor. And I'm like, okay, why not? I want to get rich. Let's watch this guy. So I watched him.

And he eventually told me to read this book, Of course, Think and Go Rich, right? Which I have over here. But not a better book, a different book that just talks about the subconscious mind more is the po The Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Dr. Joseph Murphy. And it essentially talks about self-hypnosis. And I went on that journey of, you know, reprogramming my mind at night, you know, just like repeating affirmations, really relaxing the physical body all the way. that essentially allows allows access to your subconscious mind when you have tension you there's like I I guess what we call the the critical faculty and it essentially blocks thoughts positive or negative thoughts from accessing the subconscious mind anyways when I started to do that I have this vision like I live like on the beach I date this type of woman and I'm like genuinely really really happy and I had no idea how I was going to like pull this off. But four months later, I found myself on the beach on the Caribbean Sea with this very beautiful person who I ended up dating when I lived there. And I was the most happiest I've ever been in my entire life. And I had no fucking idea that I was going to do that when I was like repro reprogramming my mind. So like you can say what you want about the law of attraction or manifestation, but for me, it has shown up so, so many times. And that was the first time.

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:6:49
Love that.

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:6:54
Mm-hmm.

Jordan Lally:7:04
that it showed up for me. so I guess the question I want to propose like when when did you discover all of this?

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:7:11
Okay. So I actually was not prepared to talk about this. But I believe, I believe, so I'm I'm an only child and my parents were very public facing people. So I ended up like have kid, will travel, and I was in all of these adult environments all the time. And I just listened to and it was really silly, I listened to all of these men and women who looked at me as just like I think like a small adult, like they didn't They didn't govern themselves around me. They all talked about, my God, you know, I date all these different people. They're different sizes or different ethnic backgrounds, or they've got different, you know, seemingly everything was different about them. But somehow they always end up dating the same person, the unavailable, the alcoholic, the what have you. So my little twelve or ten year old brain started giving lectures to these people saying exactly this. This is so silly.

I think you should maybe pay a little more attention to yourself because when you walk into a room, and so this is what I started believing when I was a kid, consciously we say, right, like there's how do I say this? God, I haven't said this in such long time. It's so applicable to today. So we're going to a party, right? You and I are both single. I'm not. I'm very happily married. But for this situation, I'm single. So we we We go to this party with a hope that we get to meet someone that we could actually enjoy and spend some time with. So across a crowded room, I see this guy. Now my conscious mind says, ooh, he's got nice eyes or a nice ass or whatever physically is going to attract me to that person. And then I start talking to them and they seem like they're bringing something to the table. They're funny, they're smart, they're, you know, I tend to be a little sapiosexual, if you will, which means I enjoy people that have a brilliant mind and heart and, you know, But then come to find out, maybe my pattern is that I keep finding myself with people that have addiction problems or they're unavailable. And how do you know that? Right? Which is such an interesting thing. How are you consistently seeking out the same kind of people? Because our brains are like a neural network. They are a neural network. It is pattern seeking on a consistent basis. We get access to millions and millions of data points a second, but our little bird brains and the form that they're in at the moment.

Jordan Lally:9:23
Yes.

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:9:35
Because we use such a small percentage of it, can only file and access certain things. So when you're in a state of not of exuding, let's say an energy that is bringing people to you that are having you work on the problem, like your personal self where you haven't gotten yourself, let's say, straight with you, your particular system, which my 12-year-old system was calling my your straining service, steps in.

And translates that into wow, this guy's safe, he's hot, he's handsome, he's whatever, but he's an alcoholic, he's an unavailable person. Vis-a-vis, if I worked out what I was afraid of, what I needed to prove to myself that I would keep attracting this kind of person, then I would walk into that same room with you. Oops. what the fuck just

Jordan Lally:10:32
Typically yeah. If that does happen, Riverside tends to record locally, so from your computer, my computer. so post production we should still look pretty pretty good.

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:10:32
that okay.

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:10:36
Okay.

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:10:44
Awesome. Yeah, that was so weird. I'm like everything just went dark. sorry. Okay, guys, getting back to it. So I think, you know, once you start to do that kind of work on yourself, then we can walk into that same room and though that same guy that I found super attractive the last time doesn't even hit my horizon.

Jordan Lally:11:04
my gosh. And like not to sound cliche, but this is what people mean when they say perspective is everything. Because whenever we view the world through a specific lens, whenever you first walk, whenever you and I both walked to this party or like what went to this party, our our lens was, I guess, subconsciously attracted to this ex person. Unfortunately, they have problems, they have addictions, whatever the case is.

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:11:24
Yes. Yes.

Jordan Lally:11:29
But now that we healed, we literally see the world from a entirely different perspective. And now you're

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:11:34
And we don't even see that person. Like that person doesn't even become an option. So it's interesting you say this because So A, we know a lot more than we consciously acknowledge, right? but B, I like to say that when we come into this world for lack of better of a better analogy, we all wear glasses. We come in with these clear lenses. But based off of the time and history that we were born into, the community that we were born into, the type of family, the type of circumstances, it just continues to shade our lenses. It's kind of like the same thing. You and I decide we're gonna go to a museum together.

We're standing in front of this big iconic painting, and you say, I see glory at magnificent. And I say, I see death and destruction. Because we are seeing a different reality. Right? Things are affecting us based off of our circumstances and the way we're viewing the world right now.

Jordan Lally:12:18
Yeah.

Jordan Lally:12:31
Absolutely. And kind of with pattern pattern recognition and you know viewing the world through a specific lens, I I always break this down, or I I guess I used to break this down to my ex-girlfriend and she thought it was very, very fascinating. But Tony Robbins has this thing. He says, All right, everyone in the room, I want you to look around and try to find red. I'm like, all right, everyone takes a second. Okay, now what was green? Can you tell me? And like exact

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:12:53
Mm-hmm. right, right, right. Yep. I know where you're going.

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:12:59
Right, you're not looking. That's the whole thing, right? That we get all of this information constantly. And some of the information that's really going to benefit us, we're blind to because of our mindset. That was a brilliant. Yeah. I mean, it's so true. It's so true. We're kind of like, you know, like you're you're going to buy a new car and you decide on like, I'm going to get a Tesla or I'm going to get a BMW, whatever it is, where you never notice the road that those cars on the road. And then you leave the dealership and you're like,

Jordan Lally:13:10
Yeah. Right.

Jordan Lally:13:15
For

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:13:28
Every car is a Tesla. What's happening? It was all there before. You had no connection to it.

Jordan Lally:13:29
But absolutely.

Yeah. When did you first go down this path? 'Cause obviously you're very, you know, well versed in this in in this area. It sounds like you kinda studied it, you know.

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:13:44
So I'm a weird one in say I you know what I'll say it publicly. So ever since I've been a little kid, like I went to overnight camp and I brought the kids down to the part of the lake, like I'm nine, the part of the lake that we're not allowed to go to at the time that we're not supposed to be there. Maybe I'm a bad influence in certain ways. And I would point down to like the like little rocks and graphs and go, see that? That's a portal to another world.

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:14:14
You know, I look back and I think, was I just being creative and fun? Or was there, you know, was it I don't I don't know where I I've gotten this information. And for the most part, to be honest with you, I try not to, I try to expose myself to what I believe is science. And I tried not to overly immerse myself in a ton of information that may plant a seed that grows something that I don't want to.

Jordan Lally:14:42
Oof, very protective of your mind, which is it's important. And and kids at that age are very susceptible and not susceptible, well, yes, but not in a negative way. They're very open-minded, extremely open-minded. Like if you hear ghost stories, a lot of them are from kids. Like, like because they're just more open to

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:14:46
But that's me.

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:15:02
Or how yes, or how about, how about like imaginary friends? Right? I mean, we as I think when we're children, we are so innocent and we hold this level of abundance because anything's possible as a kid. I could grow up, right? You ask a little kid, ask a three-year-old, what do they want to be when they grow up, Spider-Man? Right? Why not? Like there's all of this wonder, and they say that, you know.

Jordan Lally:15:07
Yes.

Jordan Lally:15:24
Right.

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:15:32
Working with children by the time they're seven, their view of the world and the way they believe the world views them is sort of baked in. So to me, it's so important to work with kids and teach them you're not just a reflection of your parents, you have worth. There's endless possibilities for you to live what you consider to be your best life. And, you know, to really help kids lean in and be confident in who they are. Because You know, I think we all kind of fall off the imagination cliff for a while, and that's sad.

Jordan Lally:16:09
It is. Adulting and being an adult sometimes can be can be a bit sad if we never go back to that kid moment in life, you know. If if if we continue to have a closed closed off mind. I I do want to bring up the fact that, you know, conditioning, not that it sucks, because everyone is conditioned, but it's not our fault, it's our responsibility to change, right? If we are not enjoying the life that we're currently living, yes, we might have had a shitty upbringing.

Yes, we might have had a a shitty handout, whatever the case is. But you're you're an adult now. It it's it's your responsibility to actively try and change. Why do you feel like people are just not I I guess they have the victim mindset. Why do you feel like they just are okay with the victim mindset? Because obviously you definitely don't possess that, you know?

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:17:03
So I don't know as if people maybe are okay. I think you bring up a great, like this is a really important point. I don't think people are okay being a victim. I don't think that people realize that when this narrative starts to surround them, that their entire, like that a lot of their identity becomes a victim mentality. I think people can't separate fact from fiction and that we can change our circumstances. They think. my God, because I think it goes back to patterns again. If you have, let's say, you know, if you grew up in a with a shitty family and they didn't teach you unconditional love and to believe in yourself and don't bother looking over your shoulder. I'm right behind you. Go out and do you. And so now they keep seeing their worldview is they didn't get into the college that they wanted. Or maybe they did, but they didn't have the financial wherefore to stay there.

They keep dating bad people, friends screw them over, all of this stuff. It's because the patterns, the patterns that they see only skew negative, right? Victim mentality. But if they started to think to themselves, okay, what do I really want? I want to be successful. Do I have a product or service that I really believe in? Like how, what, what's my path to success? And then, okay, great. If If I want to be successful in life, what does success look like to me? Is it waking up in the morning and having energy? Is it spending an hour outside by yourself and meditating or exercising or just vegging? Is it having time with family? Is it making a certain amount of money? Is it visiting a certain amount of countries? Like what is it that's going to make you happy? And then once you really check in with you on what's going to make you happy, then you need to start acting like that.

Person, right? Like the person that's getting on the plane and going to Madeira, the person that is giving a speech at their company retreat because they've done so well that they're at some fabulous retreat for four or five days. But you have to, you have to feel it. You have to live it. You have to become it. Right? Like life doesn't just throw balls at you super fast that you've got to catch.

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:19:26
You're throwing the balls, and I think people don't understand this.

Jordan Lally:19:30
Right. They they think that they are not as in control as they as they truly are. And getting back to identity, you you said something so flawlessly. How you identify as a person is literally how you are going to act. Like I am a brother, I am a dad, I am a son, a cousin, I am a entrepreneur, whatever the fuck you want to identify as is how you are going to act. And if you i it's very difficult because you go home and like the general population here.

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:19:51
Yeah.

Jordan Lally:20:00
You go home, maybe to a not-so-good house, to a not so good job, to you fighting with your spouse. So it's really difficult to enforce or reinforce positivity in your life and try to reshape your identity when every single day the identity is not matching reality, right? Like your subconscious, like your dream is not matching what's showing up in reality every day. But that is where I feel like the universe is just tested.

Like you have to be semi strong willed. I guess just have faith in it and just let go. I don't know. Yeah.

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:20:34
In whatever form. Yeah. So I I feel like can you go back and say that so you think it's the un so first of all, we don't really know, right? It could be the universe, right? Testing us on perseverance. Like you really want to scale and and then see what the view is and have this consistent view on the top of the mountain. You got to prove to me that you want to be up here, right? Like we're not, we're not doing cherry pickers easily to the top of the mountain. But I also think it's When you've been in a in a situation in life, right? Because think about it, even as parents, you have to have a license to breathe the oxygen under the water, but no one needs a license to be a parent, right? Like in all of this, you don't go to kindergarten and and pay and the teachers are telling you, you are your own person. Like if the you know, if you've got abusive parents, you're not like them, right? And they don't, they're not like this because they don't love you. They're like this because they weren't taught coping mechanisms and how to love the way that they would like to. Like, so For me, I feel like since our brain maps millions of thoughts per second, if you are coming from a place of lack and loss, right? You're just not feeling great about yourself, even though you're trying to pull yourself up and contribute and do all the things you say you want to do, you're just gonna keep seeing the negative stuff, which is going to not infuse you with the energy you need to achieve the things that you want.

So at minimum, what I like to tell people is write down three things. Make a commitment to yourself. Three small things. I'm gonna make one call. I'm gonna write one proposal. I'm going to have, you know, like sex with my husband, whatever it is that you really say you want to accomplish in this week, and start doing little baby steps because when you start doing these little things, it sends a message to your brain going, you know, this bitch, she's always fucking up.

I think her identity is the fuck up version of herself. But then you keep you you you fuck up the predictive analytics that's in your brain. And the brain starts going, I don't know, she's acting a little differently. We need to take this under consideration. So I think your brain, your consciousness, your whatever it all is when it's all aligned together, starts to look at you differently. And all of a sudden it starts sending you back a different version of the world to look at.

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:23:02
And then you start getting little wins. And then you start to feel good about yourself. Then you start acting like the woman who or the man who is walking the walk, talking the talk and getting the outcomes they want.

Jordan Lally:23:16
Momentum is a powerful thing. right, right. Like ex

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:23:19
everything to me to me I mean maybe not everybody

Jordan Lally:23:24
Well No, you're good. You're you're you're fine, you're fine. But like stacking wins, like you said, like writing down three things, accomplishing those three things. You feel good, you feel empowered, and like you set out to for the the next day, three more things you want to accomplish. You accomplish those and eventually it's like a snowball effect. Like I knocked out everything I was gonna hit this week. Like bring on more tasks. Let's let's get this shit. You know, you feel good.

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:23:44
Right. Right. Which is awesome. Right. It's the same thing. You went to the gym this morning. Like I've been back to the gym for about a year now and it was a mortifying experience, right? Because I'm like, I'm on it, I'm on the treadmill for ten minutes going like, okay, can somebody like oxygen send me can someone send a limo to take me to the the the the changing room afterwards? But you know, you keep showing up and all of a sudden.

You know, I'm I'm you're you're doing a half an hour of this and you're watching that your weights are going up and you're feeling stronger. And when you look in the mirror, you're liking what you see a little better. And all all of this just starts to stack and it's not about anybody else, it's about you. When you can feel good about you, I just believe we exude an energy that brings other like-minded people that will support you in your goals. you know, and that's when things become really fun.

Jordan Lally:24:40
It's always you versus you. I as soon as you start comparing yourself to other people, that comparison is the thief of happiness. You might have heard that saying or quote before.

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:24:51
Okay, and so my brandy is on number seven hundred and ninety four is I always say never be jealous of anyone because you don't know what happens when they go home and close their door and you don't know what they see when they look in the mirror in the morning.

Jordan Lally:25:02
Oof, yes, exactly.

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:25:04
Right. And so when I my first company, it was like two Harvard business school grads that were taking their senior project into the wild. And it was really exciting because it was like a really small group of us. I went to college and then I was working at this company and shit, I just lost my train of thought. I know what it was.

Jordan Lally:25:24
Okay.

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:25:29
So, you know, with most startups, what's the number one thing? Revenue, revenue, revenue. So I wore many hats at this company and all of a sudden I'm like 17 years old and I'm selling like tech stuff to like 40-year-old, predominantly men. And you know, and so I I basically developed this sales team from nothing that I was on. And I started the beginning, I started to get like, my God, and this person's doing better, but wait, I don't want them to do better because like I'm actually their boss.

But my God. And then I realized, stop. The only person I have to compete with is myself. I set my goals, my numbers. And if other people do well, so here's the difference. So this always annoys me, to be honest with you. You know, people are like, my God, can you believe it? They have so much money. Do you hear they went on five cruises this year? And, you know, people are jealous. And I'm like, Look at someone, if someone has something you want, that means it's attainable.

Jordan Lally:26:30
Oof. Yes. Absolutely. Yes.

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:26:32
Right? Right? Don't be jealous. Go, bitch, that's awesome. Now I want that for me. And you go hack it for yourself. Why not?

Jordan Lally:26:43
And and and that's the best thing about like other people achieving success. And I think you framed it better. But if somebody has done X, that means X is possible. Like I can do that shit too.

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:26:53
Right? I mean, come on. So, you know, for me, it's and and believe me, like I have a ton of struggles and I mean you should see me like, you know, in the makeup and the you know, we I've never met a secure person in my life. Like anyone that tells you they're like perfectly secure, I will tell I will make I'll bet a billion dollars of my non earned billion at the moment at this moment in time. there is no such thing.

Jordan Lally:27:19
Right, right.

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:27:22
Is a truly secure person. But I do believe there's such a thing as a person who understands who they are, what they want, and how they want to show up in this world. Right. So for me, legacy is really important. Like in business, for me, everything I do is about do good works, make money. Right? It's people over profit. Not that I'm not a capitalist, I'm just not a radical capitalist.

Jordan Lally:27:48
yes, and sleeping at night is important. Like you know what I mean?

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:27:52
Well, right. I mean But but it right, but it's tr Well, now we're getting into a whole other topic with the money and the the the you know, the greed and and the the insanity of where we are in this world at the moment, which we probably should not do on this very inspiring podcast episode.

Jordan Lally:28:12
For sure. When it comes to changing your pattern, do you feel like you like went through something in particular? You don't have to go into details, but something where you like I have to change as a person because I'm not liking like what's going on. No, you're okay. Did anything happen in your personal life where you've realized I'm not liking the pattern that's showing up? I'm not liking my day to day activities. I need to make a change. You don't have to go into details, but what are some of the things you did to make?

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:28:26
Wait, I can't hear you. I'm so sorry. Say it again.

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:28:40
Mm-hmm.

Jordan Lally:28:42
Make that change to live a more fulfilled house.

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:28:46
So I think for me, I realized like you need to sit in pain sometimes because it's happening to you. And, you know, look, at the end of the day, I can break my fingernail and it can be just as devastating to me as you breaking your arm, right? Everything's perspective and and like your own personal experience. I think what I've learned is for me is to allow myself to sit in something, not overly long.

But enough that like I'm actually dealing with something. Because when you're not ready, there's a difference between never getting off the mark versus you just need a hot moment to collect yourself, lick your wounds, and then stabilize. So I think for me it's giving myself that that grace, that hot moment to really identify who I am, where I am, how this thing fucking hit me upside the head. Like I'm, you know, like my ears are ringing and like let them calm down for a hot second.

And trying not to shame myself because we really are there's so many parts of us. Like, I mean, it's our body's incredible. Even scientists can't explain all of the inner workings of our body. So I think it's trying to do small little things in the beginning that kind of start to write the ship, if you will, and then remembering you are the captain of. everything for you. So if you've got big dreams, big passions for you, right? Doesn't mean that it has to be for the rest of the world, you know, but we keep reminding yourself of that and then learn to lean in and be bold about it.

Jordan Lally:30:32
To be vulnerable with you for a second, I I do have a counselor, I have a therapist, whatever, because you know, I think everyone should probably have one. And they always recommend that. And I, to be quite honest with you, I might be a workaholic. Do I love what I do? Yes. But do I work an excessive amount? Yes. And she tells me that I should not, because I should do exactly what you just said. Sit with like with my emotions. And actually, we're

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:31:01
No, so I disagree with her. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. So I'm telling you what's right for me. This is this is what I do. Because I like I am this only child and I I'm a like we're all our own worst critics, but like, you know, I can be a little unfair to myself sometimes. And then it sets me back. So at my ripe old age of twenty something, you know.

Jordan Lally:31:02
perfect. Let's hear this.

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:31:30
I really, really, really tried to pay attention to what's best and good and right to repair me. So respectfully, I used to believe that everybody should have a a therapist, you know, an hour at least a week where you can be in a safe environment talking to, you know, to a non judgmental person. But this is why I don't love therapy always. Maybe I'm a little bit more of a plant medicine person.

Jordan Lally:31:55
No, you're you're fine, you're fine.

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:31:58
is because you have to count on the fact that the per first of all, the person who's your counselor 100% has full knowledge of you know like whatever their their counseling practices are and that they absolutely understand who you are, where you came from, what you're truly struggling with, and the best path forth for you. And you know, speaking to you, let's say more from a friend perspective, you're in your friggin' like mid to late twenties.

You are inspired now, right? Do you run around complaining to people? my God, I work out too much and I and I and I work too hard. Do you complain to people? Okay. So it'd be one thing. If you complain to a lot of people, then I get your family and friends being like, dude, slow down. But if you're not complaining and you're going to therapy to help you be your best person, why would someone tell you to slow down when it feels right and good to you?

Jordan Lally:32:36
Yeah.

Jordan Lally:32:55
Dude. It that is so funny. Like this is fucking off topic. But like low key in my last session, which was yesterday, I asked towards the end, like, why am I even here? Like low key. Like I want to do X, you're telling me to do Y. I don't see the fucking alignment anymore, dude. You know?

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:33:06
Okay.

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:33:12
And sometimes, right? You know that thing like sometimes people come in for, you know, a reason, a season or forever. They maybe they held your hand, they got you to see a part of yourself that you needed to see, right? They guided you to a certain point. And, you know, I'm not gonna tell you, you know, stay with your therapist or don't stay with your therapist. I'm just a very firm believer of, and I think that's why I'm really particular about what kind of content I watch and stuff, because it's so easy to plant a seed.

Jordan Lally:33:42
What content do you watch? Ch l let's switch gear gears or switch gears here. Y who yeah.

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:33:46
Sensate. I think we should I wish we could all get to that place.

You know, bits and so I'll only watch something that is pure neuroscience explanations. No opinions, no this is how I got there. Just definitions. And then I like to internalize it for me. That's how I do it for me. Right? So because I also yeah.

Jordan Lally:34:11
Facts.

Jordan Lally:34:15
Gotcha. Yeah do you have No, what were you saying?

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:34:21
No, I'm what I was gonna say is sometimes, sometimes it's good, sometimes it's not, where you someone plants a seed with you, right? Like sit your therapist, right? my God, you're working too much. So during this the time that we've been together on this podcast, you've probably if you go back and check, you probably mentioned four or five times, everybody thinks I work too much. Like that seed's becoming to be planted where you're beginning to go, wait a second.

When I feel really good, it's when I'm working out and working. And now you're questioning yourself because you've got all these people planting this seed that potentially could take you off a path that like has you really humming.

So I just I try to be mindful of that.

Jordan Lally:35:06
I should probably be more mindful as well. So thank you for bringing that up. I feel the most productive when I'm working. Like I've never like I never feel like a piece of shit for working and working out. You know what I mean? But if I'm watching T V eating a bag of chips, I'm like, You're a fucking loser, dude. What are you doing with your life? You know what I mean?

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:35:21
Well, you know, don't be so mean and rude to yourself because I'm looking at a like a very handsome, highly accomplished, beautiful hearted man right now. So, you know, don't let that backseat asshole driver beat you up because it's living with you rent-free right now.

Jordan Lally:35:39
Thank you. I appreciate that, Brandy. For sure.

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:35:41
I'm just saying. But I mean, that's it. I just feel like it's so, you know, I think it's funny. Everybody's gonna have an opinion. And everyone's really gonna believe that their opinion is the right opinion for you. Until, you know, like it's a stupid thing and you can keep this in or not keep it in. But like a million years ago, so somebody had said to me a million years ago something about like someone breaking into your home. Right? Like, what would you do if someone if you were home and someone broke into your home? I'd be like, I'm like, I'd be the

Jordan Lally:35:51
Right.

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:36:08
Fuck out the back door, right? I'd grab my dog, like something, maybe and I'd I'd flee. Right. And then I called the police. So years ago, like I mean, years ago, I'm at my parents' house and they're gone and I'm getting ready. And you know, I'm from the sleepy little town in Massachusetts. So I left the front door unlocked. I'm in the shower. My dog only barks when there's something big. So I thought my friend, like my girlfriend I was supposed to go out with, showed up, right? So I'm like, come on in.

And then don't hear anything. So I get out of the shower and I'm like, hello, hello. And then I hear what sounds like somebody throwing stuff in the garage. And I'm alone with a dog, which is Laza Opsa. Like not a German shepherd that would deter people. So in a robe and a towel turban on my head, I go into the kitchen, grab a pot and a pan, go flying out the front door to the garage going, if you, you know, you want to mess with someone, you want to show your face.

Never in a million years would I think I would do that. Now, right? Okay. So lucky me, sort of. I managed to scare the raccoons into the rafters and then that became a whole project. And there wasn't someone that was breaking in. But like that's the perfect example in my world of like, you don't know how you're going to react until you're in it. I was gonna duke it out with the bad guys.

Jordan Lally:37:30
You thought you were gonna flee. R exactly, exactly. So you're a fighter. You're you're not a fleeer, you're a fighter.

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:37:37
I I think under certain circumstances. I think there's some things that are worth fighting for. There's other things like flee the building. Just please flee the fucking building.

Jordan Lally:37:47
For sure, for sure. Yeah, that's I'm not sure if you know who the School of Hard Knocks is on Instagram or anything, but he I th I think said similar advice to you. He basically said, if you wouldn't trade places with that person, then why waste your second valuing their opinion at all? And I was like, That's a pretty good that's a I like that. Yeah.

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:38:07
Yeah, because let me ask you a question, right? So I can definitely look at people and think like, my God, I'd love to be as beautiful as Jennifer Aniston or Gal Gadot. And then I'd love to be as rich as Elon Musk. And then I right and you but I don't I don't want to be those people. I mean, you know, maybe would it be fun to be Jennifer Aniston for a day? And then I could just go out and get pregnant for her. No, just kidding. None of those headlines. No

Jordan Lally:38:33
Mm.

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:38:37
But like yeah, I don't I wouldn't when you really examine other people's lives, I don't think anybody has it better. I just think that Gifts that we have, we have a tendency to take for granted. So then we look at other people and we're like, but this comes so easy for them. But that's an outside perspective on something that's likely not true. And yeah, I just think the best investment is an investment in you, as long as you're going to take the beautiful knowledge and the balance and all of that good stuff and try to contribute it to the world around you in some shape, form, or fashion.

Jordan Lally:39:18
Let I'm gonna stay there for a second and to be vulnerable with you one more time. I struggled with addiction. Not gonna make excuses why, but I loved alcohol. I'm a little over two years sober now, so yay yay me. But thank you. One of the things that really helped me get sober and really change my perspective was gratitude.

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:39:32
Muzzle stuff. That's awesome.

Jordan Lally:39:44
And instead of like boohoo me, this happened to me. Why did this happen? My life is fucking sucks, whatever. It's like actually take a fucking step back and realize what you have and to truly feel grateful for the bed that you lay in, the pillows that you have, the fucking home that you live in. Like those little fucking things, dude, changed my entire life. And I was like, wow.

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:40:03
Yes, yes.

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:40:09
Goes back to shifting your identity, right? You had all this shame, right? You had the fun part, right? When the booze was fun, right? So you had that. And then all of a sudden the booze wasn't fun. And probably when you caught up with the fact that, like, no bueno booze, because it's a poison, just telling everyone there may be a liquor store in every corner, plant medicine perhaps, but I'm just putting it up there. Is you know, you've probably gotten some shit.

Jordan Lally:40:20
Right.

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:40:36
Right, some bad stuff probably happened and then you decided like I gotta tackle this. But when you're in so much shame trying to get yourself out of addiction, I think it's so easy to keep beating yourself up. So then it moves back to the beginning of our conversation again, these small little steps, these small feelings of gratitude. my god, I've got gorgeous sheets.

Look at that, I can afford to put toilet paper in my I mean like but these are real accomplishments. We take this stuff for granted. And that starts shifting your identity, little bits and bites along the way until you get you're recovering. So I got a weird question for you, maybe. So, you know, muzzle tub, huge. Like, thank you for being vulnerable. Like that's awesome. And you know, you went through your addiction.

Do you do you feel like you've replaced that addiction with something else or not?

Jordan Lally:41:34
Well, that's essentially why my family and therapist keep saying I should take a break from work. Because I did replace alcohol with working. But I make money. Like I feel productive. I it's like beats the alternative of being a fucking drunk at five PM. You know what I mean?

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:41:52
So, you know, I would just keep checking in with yourself. Like I do. I think it's no, because here's the deal. There's some people, like you see it a lot with people when they have like bad addiction problems. A lot of people become very religious. And there's nothing wrong with religion. It's a beautiful thing, but when you become, when you trap yourself, right? Because, you know, they say an addict's always gonna be an addict. And I don't always believe that, but I also think if you've got a lever to push and you can And you stay in you stay in balance with yourself and check with yourself, you can achieve anything. You take someone like what's his name? CNN, Ted Turner, right? CNN and Turner Network and all of this. If I'm not mistaken, that man had was truly bipolar, right? And most people, you know, when they're bipolar, they're they're up, they're down, and they can't control themselves. He took his manic periods and would literally like he got the best work done.

Jordan Lally:42:31
Okay. Mm-hmm.

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:42:50
So you can harness what was once bad into something that's good.

Jordan Lally:42:58
Right, right. You you one can argue that I replaced it, or I just transformed the addiction from self-torture to, I don't know, prod productivity, you know, and like helping clients, helping other businesses, helping other people achieve what they want. You know, like that's one way to view that.

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:43:10
Yes.

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:43:19
thing so look I think you can look yourself in the in the mirror and know whether you're lying to yourself or not. Do you know what I'm saying? Like I can't tell you but I but you know listen if you you could take this show on the road and travel the world and and sit with entrepreneurs in person and have all kinds of other adventures. But I also I also realized at a very young age I was like this tall going my name's Wandy and I'm all about business. Like my conversations tend to lead business my

Jordan Lally:43:27
Absolutely.

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:43:49
I enjoy business. I enjoy helping companies grow. I enjoy building companies. I enjoy creating a family out of the people that we work with, finding like-minded people that play to win but have integrity. So who is anyone to tell you what your life should be or what gets you out of bed in the morning unless you're truly being destructive to yourself?

I mean, I don't see you being destructive. I think it's just everyone having an opinion. And I feel like you've probably got a lot of people around you that love you and don't understand this whole like online gig thing. So they're probably questioning how to best show up for you, right? Like, you know, your narrative isn't just about you. It's about everybody else and their opinions of themselves and how they relate to you. Like we're just one big like jigsaw puzzle trying to figure out like what's this picture actually look like when we all fit in together properly?

Jordan Lally:44:17
Yeah.

Jordan Lally:44:43
Yeah, no, it's fucking amen to that, one hundred percent. Yeah, and I feel like their concern is mass behind like love and care. Like we love you, we wanna make sure that you're okay. Why the fuck you working all the time? Type shit, you know?

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:44:55
Yes.

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:45:01
But it's interesting. So, but think about it, right? You hear this, and if you spoke to your family, like you sat them down, they either may say to you, God, I think we've only said that one or two times to you. Right. But you hear, right? But maybe the inflection point was a lot more intense for you. It's interesting how we have selective hearing on things or why we frame things the way we do to ourselves.

Jordan Lally:45:27
Very no, very true. Very true. Damn, Brandy. Well n now you got me reflecting again.

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:45:30
Yeah.

Gotta you know what? I think that's a beautiful, brilliant place to be. I think if we just keep checking in with ourselves, we know ourselves better than anybody else does. And make sure like we're being you know, like using words like authentic, but like being authentic to you. Right? Like if you need to take a break, take a fucking break. If right now you don't need to, don't take a fucking break.

Jordan Lally:45:47
Yes.

Jordan Lally:45:56
No, for sure. And on that topic of we know ourselves better than anyone on this planet, I also think if you were to sit with yourself, deep down in your subconscious mind, you fucking know what you should be doing. You know? Like, like if if you really sit with yourself and like, you know, you meditate, one might say, and that like, I don't know, soul thought.

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:46:19
Uh-huh.

Jordan Lally:46:19
It's like, hey, you should take a step back, then like listen to that fucking thought. You know what I mean? Like the same thought that says, Hey, you should hit the gym, or like, hey, you should wake up at X time. Like, it's trying to guide you, right? So if that same voice says take a break, you should probably take a break. Like I'm I'm just speaking generally here.

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:46:34
No, okay. So what you said is brilliant, but I also think you're taking yourself for granted. Like you are very intentional. Taught yourself hypnosis before you built business one, right? Like you you are such a special soul that You gave yourselves, you know, you created a whole toolbox with like beautiful tools that are like, you know, the best, best, best quality before you did thing one. So I think you know the difference between the voices in your head being productive for you or not. I think the majority of problems that people have is we got these friggin' monkey brains, right? That, you know, one second it's you're you're my God, he's got that and you don't have it.

He's not as good as you, right? You should have that too. To the next second, you're a piece of shit. You shouldn't have anything. Like, so and then there's the voice of reason. But if you're not in a place to truly hear the good stuff that your body's producing for you so that the outside you can actually fulfill on the stuff that you know you're meant to, you're not gonna get anywhere. Like I think people don't know what voice to listen to when they're in. a low place or they haven't developed themselves or they're just overwhelmed by life. Like life sucks sometimes.

Jordan Lally:47:55
Mm. Yeah, the not having the ability to like trust yourself and take action on your own word. I cause I've been there before when I was struggling with addiction. It is a a shitty place to be. And it's like I can't even trust myself, bro. You know, I can't listen to myself. That is kind of it's hard. It sucks.

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:48:11
Well, and everyone's got imposter syndrome. Like you don't think Trump really woke up and went, I'm gonna be president. Like, I don't know of anyone. I feel like, you know, people I think have their convictions and they've got their knowledge base. And, you know, like you're a good SEO, you've got years of of, you know, a track record of being a great SEO and happy clients to prove it. But even that person who's right, wakes up in the morning questions themselves. I think Ugh, I think I need lunch, is what I think. sorry. I think I need to to be fed and watered. but I think it's just it's it's hearing that voice. Like I will tell you, a million years ago, I was helping a ketamine clinic. And I'll be very vulnerable with you, to you know, with ketamine, and they said, you've got to do the molecule, and I was like, I don't think so. And they were like, No, no, you have to. So I did the six sessions.

I've had high blood pressure since I was like in my late twenties. And even with medication, a normal high, right? So normally they have you take medication, the the high blood pressure medicine for everybody, because ketamine makes your your blood pressure go up. So three, three sessions in, they're like, Stop taking your blood pressure medicine. And this isn't actually the part of the story that I should be telling, but and by the end it turned out I almost bottomed out. And I haven't taken blood pressure pills since then, which is great.

But what I realized was the my my big like neuroscience psych sort of thing for me that I walked away with, I didn't realize that I did this until like maybe a couple of months after my first, you know, after I finished the six sessions. If I prior to ketamine, if I had five minutes to myself, I would normally machinate on all the stuff I couldn't control, got into a fight with my kid. so-and-so broke something on me. Like all the stuff that like it just doesn't matter. It's all gonna be, you know, like it's out of my control. And then all of a sudden I started to get this little voice in my head that went, You've got five minutes to yourself. Can you fix any of this? Why don't you go look at pretty nail colors? Because see my nails? Pretty nail colors on Instagram. And I'm like, what a great thing.

Jordan Lally:50:27
Right, right, right, right, right. Absolutely. Brandy, thank you so much for having this conversation with me. Like I said earlier, we never talk about this stuff in the pod. And I I love this shit. So thanks for hopping on and thanks for, you know, sharing your insights on neuroscience.

Brandy Shapiro-Babin:50:42
So, first of all, thank you for inviting me here. I'm so glad we got to take this extra look because, you know, your contribution, I think, is really important and really massive. And you're giving people all the right tools to help them grow their business, but all of those tools aren't going to be utilized properly if people don't have their own like a good personal foundation. So thanks for having this fun conversation with me today.

Jordan Lally:51:09
Yeah, absolutely. Audience, thanks for tuning in. We'll talk to you guys soon.